you're having my baby
by Sea Native
Summary: Eli and Clare are out of high school and still together. How will Eli react to Clare's news? One-shot, kind of OOC!


It seems that every night I lie in bed and just look around me. It's been 6 years and I still have a hard time believing this is really my life.

I roll the comforter off of me and tumble out of bed. Eli's _Dead Hand_ t-shirt and my boy short underwear are not nearly enough clothing to prepare me for the wave of cold that hits me. Chills nip at my ankles and legs while I walk toward the kitchen. I pad through the kitchen of our condo, into the living room and I turn the TV on. Lying comfortably down on the couch, I seemingly nodding off to the weather channel.

My eyes flutter open and I roll towards the sound of the voice that spilled into my dream. "Clare? Baby, I'm home."

I simply let out a content sigh and pout my lips out. I heard Eli chuckle, as if from a distance, and knowing what I wanted, he leaned in and pressed his lips on mine.

"Come on, blue eyes. Let's get you to bed." He put one arm under the crook in my legs and the other around my shoulders and carried me bridal style towards our bed. Instinctively I wrapped my arms around his neck and placed my nose in the crook of his shoulder, inhaling deeply and snuggling into his warmth.

He placed me down gently and rearranged the warm covers around me. The intoxicating smell of him and the warmth of our bed lulled me awake. He was walking about our room getting ready for bed. Through half lidded eyes I watched him hang up his blazer and toss his jeans, shirt and socks into the hamper. When he was standing in just his boxers, back towards me, I murmured, "Cute butt."

Eli spun to face me and mock gasped, before saying, "Back at you, Edwards" while he walked over to the bed. He crawled under the covers next to me and rolled onto his side, toward me, placing a kiss on my forehead. I smiled and moved closer to him. "How was work?" I said into his chest.

His arms wound around my waist as he said, "Same old. Bullfrog was recording his segment so I got to see him. He sends you a loving 'hello'". Eli had started working at Bullfrog's radio station one summer during college. At first he only interned because we needed the money but when he realized how much fun it could be he dropped out to work there full time. A few months ago Bullfrog pulled some strings and arranged for Eli to get a late night talk slot.

The thought of Bullfrog made me think of family and how supportive Eli's parents have always been of us. I felt bad instantly and realized now was the right time. I pulled myself back to look into Eli's eyes. "Eli, I need to tell you something."

Different waves of emotion flashed in his emerald green eyes. I saw fear, concern, worry, and confusion appear before me, emotions that weren't commonly in his repertoire. My insides churned with worry when he audibly gulped and said, "What is it, Clare?"

I'd had plenty of opportunities to have this conversation with Eli sooner but none of them ever felt exactly right. I was in too deep to back down now so I swallowed hard and spoke quickly.

"_When the moment is right, just spit it out. Fast like ripping off a band-aid. He'll need to know soon, Clare." _Alli had said.

"Eli, I'm pregnant."

...

At first, Eli's face terrified me. It was an unbreakable mask of calm and the only sound in the room was his audible breathing. Our eyes were locked with each others.

I sat up slightly, placing my elbows on his chest and my palms against his cheeks. "Eli? Eli, please say something. Of all the times I need you to know what you're thinking, now is the most vital."

An indescribable mixture of joy and weariness washed over his emerald eyes. "Blue eyes, how long have you known?"

I gulped and was aware of how loudly it echoed about our silent bedroom. "I found out last week, Ali went with me to the doctor's."

His hands moved down to my abdomen and rested there. Somewhere far beneath the surface a tiny little bud, made up of the two of us, resided.

"Eli, please, just tell me how you feel."

"You first, Clare. I can't figure out why you waited a week to tell me and why you look so terrified right now."

At that moment, my love for him overwhelmed my heart and I momentarily wondered if such a small organ could contain such huge feelings. I'd spent the week wondering if he'd leave me, if he'd be upset about the baby or how I feel about it.

Everything I'd been feeling over the last week spilled out of me then. "I didn't tell you sooner because I was scared. What if my decision and your decision aren't the same and you end up leaving me?"

Eli let out a large sigh and smirked. "Baby, you're the single most precious thing in my life. Pregnant or not, I'm never ever going to leave you. Don't you know that by now?"

The enormous weight that had lived on my chest for the past week was suddenly light as a feather. I looked up at Eli through my lashes and I said something that hurt me straight to my core. "Eli, I'm not sure if I want to keep it."

Eli's eyes searched mine and I instantly knew it wasn't what he wanted. He placed both of his hands on either side of my face and said, "Clare, you're serious?"

I let out a large sigh and said, "Eli, I love you and I'd be lucky to have your baby but I can't. I just can't handle it. Hear me out." I said as his eyes grew wearier.

"It hurts me every single time something bad even comes into contact with you. Remember the Fitz thing in high school? Or when you were in that car accident? I still get shaky when I think about it. You're the most important thing in my world and I just want to protect you from everything. She'll be the same way! It would hurt me so bad to see our child even scratch her knee. What if she gets bullied? Or gets her heart broken? When there's nothing I can do about it, I won't be able to handle it." My voice had been quivering the whole time but now it dropped to nothing but a whisper. I couldn't muster up the strength to make any more sound. "What if something happens to you and I have to be strong for her? I can't, Eli, I'm not strong enough to take care of another person."

Eli's jade coloured eyes bore into mine. He sat up and pulled me into his lap, as tears spilled out of my eyes. He placed his arms around me and said, "Baby. Baby, please don't cry. I understand what you're saying but I can't think of a single reason why you think it applies to you. You're the strongest woman I know. You were strong enough to save my life once when I was, literally, in over my head in garbage, and when all stuff with Fitz was happening. You also save my life just by being in it, blue eyes."

He turned my hips so that I was facing him, and he placed my arms around his neck. He kissed a few stray tears that were falling down my cheeks.

"I love you, blue eyes. You know that. I can only imagine that I'll love the baby, you and I made together, just as much. I'll be there for you every step of the way if you want to keep it. I'll be strong for the both of us. If there's still something stopping you from keeping it, don't let it be that. I know we've never talked about this before because I was never sure how I felt or if I was ready but now I'm sure. My heart is beating a mile a minute in my chest right now just picturing our child with ocean blue eyes and auburn curls. I want you to keep it, Clare, if you're ready. I want you to have our baby." My heart soared and I pressed my lips onto his.

Breaking away, I softly whispered, "I want to keep it too, Eli. I'm ready. I want us to start a family."

With impressive speed, I moved from where I lay, on my side next to him, and straddled his hips. With my palms on either side of his head, I sat above him and looked down. A smirk formed on his lips and he said, "Careful there, Momma Bear."

I smiled and laid my arms down so I was resting with a forearm on either side of his head, setting my head at just the right height for our lips to meet. We shared a kiss of passion and happiness.

Eli's hands found my hips and I felt a bubble of excitement build in my abdomen. It was one of anticipation of what the night might hold and what our futures would hold.

Eli broke the kiss to catch his breath and while I waited, my lips inches from his, I let out a small yawn as I felt the magnitude of the night where down on me once again.

Eli's look of passion turned into a light-hearted smirk. He said, "Maybe we should let you get some rest, blue eyes."

I didn't protest as I rolled off of him and curled into him. With my head on his chest I could hear as his heartbeat slowed down and picked up a steady beat.

Before I slept, there was one more thing I had to make sure of. My voice came out in just a murmur, "Eli?"

The hand that was wrapped around my shoulders, moved to play with my springy curls. "Clare?"

"Will you still love me when I'm fat and crabby?"

Eli's throaty chuckle shook through his chest and I felt it against my ear.

"Blue eyes, if it's possible, you'll look even sexier to me."


End file.
